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Lesson 11 - Fidelity in Marriage

“Infidelity is one of the great sins of our generation.” President Spencer W. Kimball


In our class reading this week, I have discovered the many facets of the word fidelity. Having previously only considered a limited definition, this was eye-opening for me. Kenneth Matheson, professor of Social Work at Brigham Young University, defines fidelity as “complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife.” He further states, “Inappropriate interactions with another person can erode fidelity.” (Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think, Kenneth W. Matheson)

College Memories

While I was reading his article, my mind wandered back to my first year of college. I had a great friend in college named Kip who was in the same home evening group as I was. We enjoyed our group activities, and that was really all there was to it. We never dated or entertained romantic thoughts. When the college year came to an end, we exchanged addresses and mailed an occasional letter to each other about the happenings in our lives. Kip asked about “my missionary” and I would give updates from Ray’s letters.


A year later, Ray and I became engaged. Shortly thereafter, Kip became engaged. We sent wedding announcements to each other and continued to write. It wasn’t long after we were both married that Kip sent a final letter telling me that we needed to stop writing. He wanted to focus his heart entirely on his wife. He taught me a great lesson that day. Our relationship didn’t have the signs of unfaithfulness, but how grateful I am that he chose to stop before there could have been.

In the Doctrine and Covenants, we read, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22) The same is true for wives cleaving to their husbands. “None else” is the key. We need to make sure that no person or activity stands in the way of our relationship with our spouse.

Who do we follow?

And how do we do that? We do it by making conscious choices day by day to get out of situations (or thoughts) that could weaken our relationship. There is a lesson to be found in comparing Joseph of Egypt with Samson. Joseph was tempted “day by day” (Genesis 39:10) by Potiphar’s wife. When she came at him, grabbing his clothing, he “fled and got him out” (Genesis 39:12). Samson, in contrast, succumbed to Delilah. The scriptures say she “pressed him daily” (Judges 16:16). Consequently, he was delivered to the Philistines, blinded, imprisoned and ended up dead along with 3,000 others.


I am looking forward to an eternity with my companion. To achieve this goal, I must bind myself to him with complete loyalty and fidelity. Gordon B. Hinckley, a latter-day prophet, stated, “We believe in chastity before marriage and total fidelity after marriage. That sums it up. That is the way to happiness in living.  That is the way to satisfaction.  It brings peace to the heart and peace to the home” (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1996/10/this-thing-was-not-done-in-a-corner?lang=eng). We have no better source of information and guidance than a prophet of God. Let’s follow the prophet in our marital relationships.

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